I felt numb…I felt numb and alone filled with hundreds of people, office workers mostly in a choco-a-block street in the packed Baneshwor street. She hadn’t replied to my last message although her last seen showed few minutes ago. I thought this problem would fade away with time, and I’ll be like a carefree person. It only intensified as I grew up. It’s not that I was possessive, it was just that I was over protective and over caring. She couldn’t respect love, it was not that she was busy, it was that she was too busy for me only.Her replies weren’t replies anymore it were just assertive sentences. I was re reading our old chats while waiting for the bus. There were parts filled with her expressing her love when I got angry, but I doubted whether she loved me the way I did.Maybe I deserved someone better, maybe I deserved someone who loves me with every beat of her heart, someone who spends every minute of the day thinking about me, thinking what am I doing and most importantly if I’m OK or not. But that’s the funny thing about love, it teaches you how to care for someone selflessly, how to miss someone knowing the fact the other person doesn’t even care a bit, how to forgive every mistake of the other person no matter how big or small it is.But is it worth it I ask myself? Is it worth caring for someone who doesn’t love you back? Is it worth watering a plant knowing it can never bear fruits? Well, life would have been a lot simple if someone could answer such fundamental questions. It’s not that I get sad when she ignores my messages, it’s just that I expect a reply, even a monosyllable could work sometimes but the thing boils down to priorities. Maybe I was Cristiano Ronaldo to her Real Madrid, who knows?The bus arrives, I pick up a window seat and doze off thinking about all the beautiful moments
we spent together few time back.